Do you ever wish you could stop lecturing and get your child to think for themselves?? I know I do…
That’s why, when the opportunity came up to review one of the titles available from Parenting Made Practical, I was excited to find one that covers exactly this! Taming the Lecture Bug and Getting Your Kids to Think teaches parents how to stop lecturing, threatening, and reminding their kids and get them to take ownership of their responsibilities. For this review, I received a copy of the book as well as a digital download of their video by the same name, Taming the Lecture Bug and Getting Your Kids to Think. The advice and skills taught in both the book and video are suitable for use with kids ages 8 to college.
My Experience with Taming the Lecture Bug
Well, according to Joey and Carla Link, authors of Taming the Lecture Bug, it’s because I keep reminding Monkey of what he needs to do. If I were to take a step back, and actually give him the opportunity to fail and truly give him ownership of the task, he will learn to take responsibility for it. By constantly reminding him of what he needs to do, I am taking ownership away from him, and it is easy for him to “forget” over and over again.
This little nugget of knowledge was presented in one of many real life examples given across the twelve chapters in Taming the Lecture Bug. This particular example came from the chapter entitled, “Responsibility = Ownership.” Other chapters include topics such as, “How Parents Stop Kids From Thinking,” “Re-Training a Stubborn Heart,” and “The Art of Asking Questions.” There is also an appendix section that covers “Unlocking your Child’s Heart” and a bibliography with additional resources.
The Links state that “obedience comes first” and that in order for the tips presented in this book to truly work, children need to obey their parents “immediately, completely, and without arguing or complaining.” In this title, obedience training is lightly touched on, but the reader is referred to another title from Parenting Made Pratical, Why Can’t I Get My Kids to Behave?, for a more in-depth look at how to train your kids to obey. This title is also being reviewed by the Homeschool Review Crew, so be sure to check out those reviews by clicking on the banner below!
Taming the Lecture Bug is biblically based and references scriptures throughout. I prefer to use secular materials in educating my kids, but when it comes to personal development and parenting help, I don’t mind incorporating religious materials. However, I was a bit taken aback by the Links labelling behaviors such as “tweaking the standards,” not putting your laundry away exactly as instructed, coming home a little late, as “sins” and equating them to Jerry Sandusky doing “unmentionable things to young boys” and murder. From my perspective and with my personal beliefs, this was a bit extreme and made it a bit difficult for me to fully commit to the advice being presented. As I continued with the book, I came to understand their viewpoint, although I still do not agree with it.
Now, I want to be perfectly honest with you, if I had only watched the video, this review would sound much different. The video is a live presentation of some of the material from the book that’s about an hour long. It is performed in front of a live audience – and yes, I say performed, there are situations that they act out with the help of their daughter and the overall tone of the presentation is very scripted. I would have preferred a more conversational, real tone.
Additionally, I felt that the video presentation focused on some the most controversial opinions from the book (as I mentioned earlier) and left out much of the meat/practical advice.
Overall, there was quite a bit of valuable advice and examples included in Taming the Lecture Bug and Getting Your Kids to Think. I have been implementing the suggestions to ask questions rather than lecturing and I have already seen changes in how Monkey responds. I’ve also given him full ownership of getting his gear ready for karate. Rather than constantly reminding him to get his gear and checking to make sure he hasn’t forgotten everything, I will ask him once to get his gear ready to go and then leave it to him. I’m happy to report that he has thrived with taking responsibility over this area!
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